What does it mean to feel secure?
To feel secure means to feel safe, protected, and loved. The sense of knowing you are not alone, you are not in danger of being attacked, and you are not afraid.
Feeling secure with yourself, your relationship. It isn’t easy at all. I, for one, am steadily at being insecure, a pro at turning everything into negative thinking. But lately, I’ve been thinking. What would help me to feel more secure?
For some people, the feeling of security means to have a good job that you enjoy, with a generous income, but I want to discuss the emotional sense of security. The side of you that judges what you wear or how others look compared to you. Being insecure can destroy many things in your mind, body, and soul. Feeding my negative demons inside with all the insecurities, I’ve forgotten how to feel secure in my very own flesh. Down below are a few examples that help me to remain confident and secure.
I hope this can help those struggling to feel secure as I am. Although I’m still learning, I thought I’d share some tips with you. Enjoy!
Ways To Feel More Secure With Yourself.
Talk to yourself, give yourself multiple pep talks. Let that positive ” I can” voice in and challenge all negative thoughts that come to mind with a positive view. DO NOT BULLY YOURSELF! Be your mind’s own best friend, and support it with love and kindness. No matter how bad things get inside your thoughts, focus on the positive ones.
Reach out for support. Try to call a friend, a family member, or anyone who you can talk to that will remind you that you are loved, and they are thinking about you always. You are not alone, and the people that love you are only a phone call away whenever insecure.
Believe in yourself. If you let the voice in your head keep telling you that you can’t do something, not only will you start to believe it.., your heart will consider it too. You won’t give as much effort as you would if you had encouraged yourself in the beginning, and less motivation used almost always results in failure. Trust your heart, and believe in yourself that you can do anything if you just support and trust your heart.
Take care of your body. Feeling a range of emotions can be overwhelming, causing tension in our bodies, which can be very unhealthy after some time of no release. It’s vital to take time for yourself to relax and take deep breaths to help relieve some tension you might be feeling. Do a mental body scan, if any areas feel tensed up, continue your deep breathing, and mentally breathe into the areas that need release.
List your attributes. Everyone has good things in themselves, make a list of what’s good about you. Write about your positive attributes, from physical features to personality traits. Try to explain in detail why it is you like these things about yourself, and when you realized you had it in you.
Smile to yourself, In the book, 10-Minute Mindfulness by S.J. Scott & Barrie Davenport. They talk about many benefits of smiling at yourself every time you catch a glimpse of your reflection. Even if it is fake, a smile at yourself has proven to increase your mood positively, having a much better attitude towards the day.
Notice how grateful you are. Take some time, notice all the good in the world. Be grateful for running water, easy access to food, opportunities, freedom, I can go on. Simply being mindful of your gratitude, and feeling blessed leaves your heart feeling full, resulting in more radiant you.
When you look good, you feel good. Take a shower, shave your legs, fix your hair, do your make-up, get dressed up, but do it for yourself, not anyone else. Appearing confident on the outside influences the way you feel about yourself on the inside.
Think and act in a positive way. Do something good even when no one is watching, and never! Never judge, not yourself, or anyone else. Acts of kindness boost our spirits and those of others. When someone sees you in the act of kindness, it usually will spark hope in them to spread kindness to someone they come across that is in need as well.
Ways To Feel Secure In Your Relationship.
Let go of the little things. I struggle intensely with holding grudges. Ranging from big to small, I will hold on to it and used it when I feel threatened. Which isn’t healthy at all, it’s very toxic in any relationship. It’s important to know that nobody in this world is perfect. People make mistakes, talk it out if you are upset, you’ll feel SO much better to get it off your shoulders. There is no reason you should stress yourself out over something so small, something you can’t control, talk it out, let go and move on with life.
Focus on the positive. Think about the 1st time you noticed your partner, first moment you fell in love? Reminisce about the things that excite you about your partner, think of the times you truly felt at home with each other. This practice is remarkably rewarding to do when you both are upset with each other it aids you back to one another, and recognize why it’s necessary to keep trying.
Speak up. If you feel uneasy with your partner about something that was said or done, don’t leave it alone to eat up at you until you explode, which is incredibly toxic for yourself and your relationships. Let them know right away, talk about it like adults, find a solution, and you both will feel more secure with each other.
Touch each other. Never underestimate the power of physical touch. Holding hands, kissing, cuddling, and eye contact is so necessary toward showing your partner you love and care about them. Communicate to your partner about how touch is essential and ways you can make an effort to touch each other more often.
Support each other. Give each other support in whatever it is that inspires them. Whether it be a hobby, tough decisions, career change, if they believe in it, you should too, you should be their cheerleader cheering them on with love support as they achieve their goals and live their dreams, and your partner should do the same for you.
Trust! Past relationships with bad experiences can make trusting anyone ever again very difficult, especially if your stubborn like me. I am very protective of my heart. My mind is my worst enemy when it comes to putting my faith and trust in someone else, but this is a very unhealthy habit that has caused many problems in my relationships, resulting in bitterness.
Having trust in your relationships is the first step to having a happy and healthy, long-lasting, beautiful relationship. When you begin to trust, it feels like being in a field of wildflowers, but you have to plant the first seed.
Stop playing games. Play board games, not mind games.
Mind games in a relationship are the worst kind of toxic. Leaving your partner to chase after you will only result in you pushing them away, maybe it was cute in high school, but we are adults now. And playing with someone’s heart and emotions is very annoying, and unhealthy for your partner to have to deal with, Do NOT take your partner for granted.
Remember that they choose you. You have got to STOP comparing yourself and your relations to others. This person picked you out of so many other flowers you are extraordinary to your partner, cherish that.
Don’t jump to conclusion. Often, if we sense something is off in our partner, we tend to panic and automatically assume the worst. While feeling anxious and insecure, it turns into a dispute because we’ve jumped to a conclusion instead of just communicating with our partner. This behavior of passive aggression can cause our partner to want to distance themselves. Always remember communication is key!
Make an effort. A relationship always takes two. Don’t leave everything up to your partner. You should be just as responsible. If you feel overwhelmed or feel your partner isn’t putting in the effort, and you need some help. Communicate with your partner the importance of having equal responsibilities in a relationship. Compromise a solution that works for you both and makes you both happy.