I took some much needed time off from work. I was too overwhelmed and focused I had no time to post or write or do anything I enjoyed. All I did was sleep work and eat not health foods. Went through some tough days and needed to take a step back and focus on myself FIRST before anything else, but I’m back home now. The boyfriend and I are looking for a nice apartment somewhere peaceful and quiet to call home. I’m so excited for that, wish us luck!
We are looking into getting new jobs that would be really good for us both!
Things are great, and I have so many reasons to be happy.🥰
Although we have lots to do! Monday is gonna be the beginning of a very busy week!
I’ve made some updates on my website!
I did a few changes on my website be sure to check it out!
My writing routine gets thrown off when I get back on the road for work. I travel all over, mostly driving from place to place to remodel hardware stores. I’m the lead, meaning I run a team, everyone pulling me in different directions, calling my phone 24/7, receiving emails after emails – I feel a lot of pressure at the end of the day, week after week, and all I want is to decompress AKA sleep. I have missed this. Sitting down to clear my head and creating something for myself is peaceful. Anyways, here’s what I’ve been up to…, Currently, my boyfriend and I (we both work/travel together, thankfully because this company will room you with a stranger!) Right now, they have us in a small farmers’ town in Indiana. And man, I tell you it is BEAUTIFUL here! I’m from Texas. I’m not used to the calm winds and rain, and it’s SO green! Everywhere looks like a high-class golf course. I’m only an hour away from Chicago, where my best friend since middle school lives. I hadn’t seen her since she moved back to Chicago our freshman year. Things were awkward at first, but I’m so grateful for a friend like her. ❤️
I’ve been super uptight lately and woke up feeling emotional. I just knew I desperately needed to get on here again. Get my head straight. Talk to me nicely again, treat my mind and soul with peace. When I blog, I feel at peace. I feel in control. My anxiety isn’t so loud. I need this.
I originally was gonna take a week to give myself time to get settled and see the family without any extra stress on myself. One week turned into two..? How’d that happen?
Coming back felt pretty good. It’s nice to be back in familiar places, where you know the roads by heart. It was refreshing to see everyone too I missed my momma. ❤️ The week went by we got settled in, relaxed,socially drained. Then the next week came and still feeling drained/unmotivated to write something worth posting for my blog.
Although I’m proud that I kept writing in my journal, so technically I didn’t fail my goal to write everyday right?
To be real though, I feel setting my very first goal ever to writing everyday is a little hard on myself so the fact that I’m actually writing more than I ever have last year is progress enough. Good Job Brittany❤️🌻
I need to remember it’s important to reward yourself for any progress made! Baby Steps
Anyways I am excited to bring you more positive vibes posts very soon!
I’ve missed this side of myself. I constantly feel the urge to write or post, but always seem to talk myself out of it.
I travel a bit for work, and when I have down time just sitting in the hotel room, writing always crosses my mind.
Then fear takes over.
“what would I even write about?”
“what if someone looks over my shoulder and laughs at me over what i’m writing?”
“what if I don’t get any views? I probably won’t anyways, I should just go to bed for work tomorrow.”
Creating excuses for myself on why I shouldn’t do what I want to do.
Fear has lead in my life for years, and I’ve never noticed it until it came to my blog.
Writing is my release, it’s like my escape from my head and thoughts so when I wasn’t having that release on top of being trapped in a hotel room just to go to work and back to bed to repeat over again the next day, I kind of went insane.
Not literally insane, but I feel an enormous weight on my chest. Anxiety is through the roof so here I am, AGAIN.
Writing, releasing, finding myself again.
I’ve missed this so much and I want to overcome this fear inside of me. I want to live life fully everyday without my overthinking holding me back.
Many of us struggle daily with our inner negative Nancy. Although, I have discovered a way to block out negative thoughts. It helps to write down positive quotes and affirmations that make me feel confident and more at peace.
When I find myself in a mood for the day, I refer back to the positive quotes and affirmations I’ve previously written to help snap out of the negativity. Happiness is a choice you have to choose everyday. I know all too well, how easy it can be to fall into that overthinking cycle of negativity, and how difficult it can be to get out. That’s the reason I make these posts every Monday to help others like me break that cycle.
It’s okay to be alone.
You can’t control shit except your state of mind.
All things and feelings are temporary
My past experiences shaped me they do not define me.
Love yourself first.
You will not heal by going back to what broke you.
Learn to let go in order to grow.
I choose to be happy
Things will work themselves out. Just stay positive and grateful.
It’s okay to let people in to love and help you.
I deserve love and joy despite feeling unworthy at times.
It doesn’t matter what others think of you. What does matter is how you think of yourself.
I am not crazy just overly protective of my heart.
I had enough with the feeling of being so overwhelmed by emotion. Angry all the time or either so sad at times, there was rarely a time I wasn’t in a mood. Very rare if I was happy. It never lasted long because I would obsess about things I couldn’t control and make myself so upset I’d be short-fused, and standoffish with the ones around me. A trait I continued to carry with me throughout my life. Until I came across blogs, and Self-esteem boosting books that helped me to realize I am not alone in this, and that it’s normal, however not entirely a healthy way to live and I needed to change. I realized this last year just a few months before the new year 2020. Lost my way a little again but I’m back now more motivated and more inspired to be better than ever before we’ve got this, Consistency is key! Right now I’ve been doing a lot of reading and researching tips on staying consistent and motivated for my blog, having a few ideas in the works I’m still moderately new to the writing world I hope you can bare me, and enjoy the journey with me. I hope to create an atmosphere of Peace, Motivation, and a sense of knowing you aren’t alone. Blogging has taught me to be more open minded and compassionate to not only others but most importantly to myself. I come first, and this is my therapy. My happiness, my mental health is what’s most important right now, and if writing for my blog helps then who cares if anyone reads it. I am a goddamn Lifestyle Blogger/Travel Blogger!
As months go by, along with the many self-esteem boosting books I read. One year after the next, I reflect. The girl I used to be. Caged, desperate to be free. Now lives comfortably Simply being she just as peaceful as can be Comfortable. No! CONFIDENT in the skin individually made for her. Unique, yet never alike Finally, she can breathe!
Today the air is cold but its the kind of cold you dream of after a long hot summer. The relief of changing your wardrobe from shorts and tank tops to scarfs and long sleeves. Fall is my favorite time of year, mostly because of my birthday and the holidays but every year around this time I reflect on memories as a little girl; Every day after school I’d go out to the front yard of my parent’s house and play all by myself, id pretend I had powers and the “wind” blowing the loose leaves and branches around was indeed me, probably looking mental to the cars passing by filled with people confused at the sight they just saw; Decades later I lie here in awe of where that little girl has gone, so carefree she used to be.
constantly exhausted, feeling drained
Despite hours slept. It’ll never appear like you’ve had enough.
Is this depression?
Or am I mixed with day and night?
Lately, I’m not feeling myself a little lost inside.
Desperate to find my way back.
Overcome by where to start
Days go by I feel a slightly better
But does the bleeding eternally truly end?
Souls say “Time heals all wounds,”
I can’t say I agree with that.
Time goes by it’s more natural to cope
It will nevermore go away.
Years adding up nevertheless to forget
Learn to let go, help yourself grow.