I have this constant hunger inside. The urge to write it always there. For reasons unknown, I ignore my gut. Could it be the doubt inside telling me my art isn’t good enough?
There are so many things to write about. Endless topics that still need to be researched and shared with the world!
Yet, there I am, constantly at war with my intrusive thoughts. They tell me, “it won’t be any good so why even waste your time?”
Like a fool, I listen.
I glance at my notebook, my laptop, I could write something breathtaking but I don’t.
It doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t ever read it.
Just write for YOU Brittany!
Nobody in this entire world, even the ones closest to you, will EVER look at you with shame because I aspire to be a writer.
Just write Brittany.
Get it all out!
You know it’ll make you feel better. Overcome your fear!
( A letter to myself)
As a child I was told not to trust anyone. I was told you can’t trust the people you love, they will hurt you more than someone you don’t love. Because you love them so much, when they do betrayed you that heartbreak is the worst in the world. Betrayal.
I feel betrayal constantly
Why is that? I wish I knew the answer. The littlest things set me off. Things I can’t control that I get upset about I feel betrayed. Betrayed because he looked at the women in the little dress or the women in the tight jeans. Tighter than mine. Better than mine. Better than me. Betrayed because I think he doesn’t want me. How do I stop those thoughts? Is it really me with my insecurity or do I need to get out?
The urge to write grows stronger with each day that goes by. I want to write desperately, need to release. Confused by all the topics to write about, each left without a beginning. Starting is the hardest part for me.
Part of the process of being a writer means embracing your disasters.
By disasters, I mean the stories with no meaning.
Missed punctuation or failed spelling unseen in the final edit, Regardless still a mess.
Who gives a F***!
Get it out.
You’ll feel better.
You will be better!
As cliché as it is
I hope that this new year brings you so much joy
Happiness, positivity and overall just a good outcome of the year in general.
I hope that this year is the year that really brings out that you you’ve always wanted
Because you deserve it.
You deserve to be happy
To be ecstatic with life.
To be filled with nothing but happiness, love and peace.
This is your time to shine!
This year is about improving YOU!
Bright and beautiful mornings are my absolute favorite!
Waking up to his touch on my freshly shaved legs.
His warm skin against mine, I can’t help the smile across my lips.
I watch him sleep for hours so peacefully.
This beautiful man before me
He loves me to the moon and back.
I know that.
He is for me nobody else
I also know he is himself.
Things I can’t control
Just let them go!
He loves me
would never deceive me.
Forgotten kisses things left unsaid
Would be the only neglect I get.
Coffee is going while you are rolling.
Blunts and coffee a ritual for you and me in the morning.
Moutain’s in the distance
along with the sound of downtown Reno.
Proud of how far we have become
Why do I still feel so numb?
Overcome with a ton left to work on
One day I’m on the next not.
You don’t deserve that no one does.
Not even me.
Desperate to be content.
I want to be your heaven-sent.
I can be kind to you
You never were just the dirt on my shoe.
It wasn’t me, but I’m on a journey
To find who haunts my dreams.
The girl I know I can be
Someday I’ll get it.